Why I Wrestle | By Justina Di Stasio

My name is Justina Di Stasio. I am 26 years old, of Italian and Cree decent, and I wrestle for the Canadian Women’s National Team. I train at Simon Fraser University with the Burnaby Mountain Wrestling Club, and also with the Khalsa Wrestling Club in Surrey. I’m an assistant coach for the SFU Women’s team. My whole life is wrestling, and I love it. Just over a month ago, I won my first world title at the Senior World Championships in Budapest at 72kg. Last year, I won a Bronze medal at the 2017 World Championships in Paris at 75kg. In 2016, I was an Olympic alternate. In 2015, I was a world team member at 75kg, losing my only match at the World Championships in Las Vegas. That’s the past four years of my life in wrestling; I never imagined to make it this far when I was first introduced to it. In grade 6, I joined the wrestling team at Banting Middle School because it looked like fun gymnastics and it was the only team I’d ever seen where boys and girls practiced together. Except I was a big kid, so instead of getting to play around with my friends, I had to go with 8 grade girls every day; I was shy, so I disliked it. I didn’t do it in grade 7, but in grade 8 I wanted to win athlete of the year, so I joined every sport the school had. At Port Moody Secondary School, a small man saw me in the hallway and said you’re going to wrestle for me. I said no at first, but thought why not, just give it a try. My high school coach was Selwyn Tam, he changed my life by introducing me to this sport; he signed me up for camps, provincial team tryouts, told my Dad to take me to practices at SFU, and put up with my attitude because I didn’t like wrestling yet. He coached me to one provincial title, my only claim to fame as a high school wrestler. He told me to email the coach at SFU, so I did, and that’s how I ended up there. My freshman year, I won Canadian Junior Nationals, and was so happy to be done with the season; I had no idea there were junior national teams. My summer that I thought would spent being lazy and relaxing, was spent wrestling. I placed eighth at Jr Worlds that year, and that’s when I started to like it; it was a challenge and I wanted to be good at it. I never thought I’d get this far with it. I am completely normal, but I show up and try to work hard, and I think that’s why I’ve been able to do things in this sport. I have also been blessed with the best support system in the world, and I know that none of this would have been possible without my people.

 

I am constantly being told that I am my own worst enemy. There is this amazing feeling in wrestling, it’s rare, but sometimes I step off the mat after a match and can’t remember how it went even though it just happened. It’s one of my favourite feelings, because I’ve always won those matches; I was so present. Just wrestling, not thinking. Overthinking, and negative self-talk towards my abilities, are my biggest struggles. They continue to be a struggle, even though I have improved vastly on them this last year. For example, when I win, I often tell myself it’s because of a mistake she made, or she wasn’t in shape, rarely accepting that I won because I am good. For Worlds, I would verbally say to myself “you are a good wrestler” before stepping on the mat in the final parts of my warm up. Sounds so silly now, but I believed it. I was writing in my journal those two days before wrestling to be brave and to be fearless. And my coach said “go get it”. Meaning that this was going to be hard, it’s supposed to be hard, no one is going to give me a match, I have to go take it. I’ve watched my matches over and over in the weeks following the tournament, it’s crazy to see that it’s me looking so composed out there. I felt so focused and ready, but to actually see it. See the techniques we worked so hard to fix actually being the movements I used in this tournament in videos, like I am actually learning. You can always think you’re learning, but in a high-pressure situation, habits show; my habits are starting to be the right things to do sometimes. Of course, I had points scored against me or situations where I could have scored and didn’t, so those things are what I have looked for when watching video too.

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I love wrestling, it’s my favourite thing to do. I’ve never been so internally motivated to be great at something like I am with wrestling. If you know me, I complain about everything, I like to be lazy and watch movies, eat snacks, and lie in my bed. In college, I procrastinated my school work a lot, but I loved wrestling so much I made sure to get my work done because I needed to be academically eligible to wrestle. First off, wrestling changed my life in that it gave me an education. Ideally, I will be able to compete at this world level for another 6-7 years. But I have an education, I am one semester away from being a teacher. When I graduated high school, I had no intentions to go straight to University, but when I decided I wanted to keep playing sports, the only way to do so competitively was to go to school. Wrestling has also allowed me to see the world, and learn how lucky I am to live where I do. I have seen places in the world I never knew existed until I went there to wrestle, and I am so grateful for these experiences. Finally, wrestling has introduced me to friends who are more like family. The grind of this sport unites you, and these people push me when I feel like I got nothing left in the tank at practice. Outside of practice, they are some of the best people I have been lucky enough to meet. It’s given me a job as a coach now; those girls make me want to always be my best. They are always watching me, and holding me accountable. The girls I coach don’t know how much they inspire me, and how hard they push me, because for me to expect the best out of them, I can’t give anything but my best as well. Wrestling has given me more than I could have dreamed of.

 

The process of winning this World title was long. I listed how many times I’d been to Senior worlds; this was the third time. In the middle of those four years, was the Olympics, which I didn’t make the team for. I went into Olympic trials seeded first, I finished second. My first Senior Worlds, at weigh ins you receive a participation certificate before you even compete, and my thought was “as if I leave this tournament with only a piece of paper.” It’s all I got, I lost my first and only match of the tournament. That certificate has been in my locker at SFU every day since, to remind me about that feeling and motivate me not to have it happen again. After losing Olympic trials, I went through the motions of feeling sorry for myself for about six months. The day that Erica won, I was on crutches because of a rolled ankle, watching her and thinking “I have to beat an Olympic champion to make it out of the country”. What surprised me was that this thought motivated me, instead of scaring me and making my dream seem impossible. This past year, I have spent 4.5 months off the mat due to injuries. I was miserable to be around during those times, because like I said, negative self-talk is my thing unfortunately. But it forced me to have to be present and appreciate what I could do. I was so excited about being able to lift my body weight again, like ecstatic and appreciative about being healthy enough to do something that was simple and unvalued to me previously. It’s a cliché, but you must trust and buy in whole heartedly to the process. In the middle of whatever part feels like a mess, a challenge, an unplanned situation, just trust that there will be a lesson from this. I know this now. But I also know that the challenges I will face in the future will still have me questioning what’s the point of this in the moment. It’s only once I come out of things that I see these lessons.

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People are asking me now what it feels like to be a World Champion. It feels great. But I actually don’t know how to properly explain how it feels because there was so much put into this, one word can’t describe it. So much work. So much doubt I had whenever I didn’t have a good practice, or my body wasn’t cooperating, or when I was just being me and had an attitude that day. What made me feel confident to win was the hard work. I don’t think that hard work entitles me to win. But when I am being pushed by my coaches and teammates way beyond my comfort level, I wouldn’t do it unless I knew I’d be willing and capable of doing the same thing in my big matches. To walk out onto the mat knowing that I was willing to do whatever it took to win was an incredible feeling. For two days, that belief in myself was so strong. Whatever pace, how hard she would go, any technical positions we got into; I told myself I wouldn’t stop wrestling. Just keep moving. Be present, be brave, be fearless, have fun; those are some of the things I wrote down in my journal both days. And I didn’t think of the outcome, sure I wanted to win, and I got excited about the idea of it happening, but I tried to think about winning each situation, not each match. Break it down piece by piece.

 

Wrestling has given me the best moments and the worst heart break I have ever experienced. Every tournament, it’s a challenge to be prepared both mentally and physically. It’s scary to prepare your hardest for something, and know that it’s going to hurt so bad if you lose, because you are believing and working with that winning goal in mind. But when you win, when it works out, everything feels worth it. Like every hard loss, injury worked through, moments of doubt, uncountable breakdowns in the hallway outside the wrestling room, they served a purpose. They pushed me to work so hard because I want to win more than anything, so whatever struggles I have to work through are what help me be able to show up and be ready. I really hope the skills that help me succeed here transfer over to other parts of my life. The patience to work through tough times knowing I am going to learn and grow from it. The internal motivation to work when no one is watching. The discipline to only do the things that serve the purpose of reaching my goal. I think wrestling can help people succeed in anything. I’m a normal person, but I found my thing and I want to see how good I can become. I have a passion for wrestling, constantly wanting to learn and be better at it. It’s so basic, this sport is like the ultimate game, just playing and competing one on one to try and be the best. It’s so fun. I worry about how I am going to ever love to do anything else the way I love to do this. For now, I am present and so happy with what I have done. My break is over now, and I’m ready to get back into it.

Justina Di Stasio, Team Canada Wrestling.

 

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