“2017, after I dropped out of BCIT for Electrical Engineering, I was at a low point in my life. I lost a lot of motivation to go to the gym, a lot of motivation to go see friends, motivation in life in general. I sat around at home, smoke a ton of pot, eat a ton of food and just let my life run away a little bit. It got really bad, I had to go see a doctor for depression, and it slowly escalated, and I tried applying for the army and got denied in my first attempt due to the pot in my system, that just added to the mountain of shit I was going through. And, for a while I was contemplating taking my life, just ending it but…. part of me… I was embracing the idea of just ending it all but at the same time the big thing that really kept me in it was thinking about my family and the way I viewed it was it would be selfish of me to do so.
At that time I was trying to find motivation in life again, I was watching some documentaries again from professional bodybuilders, Arnold’s bodybuilding career buildup, that sparked something inside of me to get my life and shit together. I went back to school and started studying some mechanical engineering, which was going well. I took a bit of a break, went back to the army, applied and got in and started pursuing that. That was going well, did some firefighting in the summers and helped out the community locally, which was a huge bonus. I tried to reconnect with my friends and get my life together.
The biggest thing was just getting back to the gym, it wasn’t so much the physical aspect but more so the mental aspect, just being able to mental refresh myself in a way and crush all these negative emotions and make room for the positive ones. Started seeing my friends more, started to be more involved in life and help out my parents and stuff like that instead of just sitting around being a lazy bum. But, at the end of the day, the gym was the biggest thing finding that motivation.
There was this one guy in particular, he would always ask me how my training was going, no one has ever asked me this at the gym because my old lifting partner Liam ended up moving to full time school at UBC so he was out of the question for a long time. It got a bit lonesome at the gym sometime but you develop a routine. But there was this guy who would always be interested in my routine, he would give me pointers because he was a power lifter and he was damn good at it. He tried coaching me for a couple months that really helped drive me into the right direction. I don’t think I ever said this to that guy but I have a lot to thank for him. He really helped set thing straight for me mentally and get me focused again. Through his coaching I got to the strongest point in my life.
It turned to a snowball effect from there, it just kept going and I’ve never been happier in my life now. I’m super involved with the army, business is going well with my dad’s construction business, going back to school to get some certifications/degrees and what not, and just being more involved with my friends. It’s been a crazy ride these past few years.
It might sound cliché but it does get better down the road. You have to push yourself, and surround yourself with the good people. Find something you enjoy and pursue that kind of passion like the way I did with weight lifting and use that positive energy to build on other things in life. No matter how dark it gets, the light will always come back, you just have to keep your head up, keep pushing, keep driving, find something you are passionate about and that will turn into a snowball effect over time if you just stick to it.” – Michael Ulasewicz.